Thursday, July 24, 2014


I read a lot of articles that speak to people like me...Wives, moms, middle-aged women, homeschool teachers, Christians in general. There are a few topics that seem to come up again and again. Modesty. Breast-feeding. Cell Phone use at the park. Pleasing our spouses. And so on, and so on...

I think I've reached my saturation point. Maybe I follow too many people who tend to say the same thing. Maybe there are just a lot of people who feel very strongly about these things. Maybe I waste too much time reading articles on the internet.

Or maybe we just need to get over ourselves and stop it.

Stop setting the bar for others.
Stop (passive-aggressively) telling your friends what choices they need to make.
Stop comparing and measuring what others do against that thing you read about those people who said what they said.
Stop passing judgment on one another.

I have written about judging others. I haven't written about Romans 14.

I've read this Romans 14 passage many times, enough that it just pops in to my head without me even trying to recall it. Just tonight, I realized that this passage needs to be read every single time I think I'm about to get into one of these discussions.

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Romans 14:12-19

So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval.

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.
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(I started highlighting the good parts, but it's all the good part, so I didn't highlight it. Just go read it again if you skimmed the first time. And imagine that it's all highlighted because it's all the good part!)

It's about eating, but it's about a lot more than eating. It's about the choices we make. What's right and wrong...

You may have your own idea of modesty and what works for you. I have mine. They're probably different. That's okay.

We probably think differently about those moms with their phones at the playground. You know what? We can still be friends.

Breast-feeding? To cover or not to cover. That is the question... that we won't be talking about here.

There are plenty of others... Swearing, sharing, every little thing that they are wearing. Dating, waiting, how we spend our time recreating. (Okay, I may be getting carried away here. But did you at least catch the White Christmas reference?)

Anyway, you get the point. I think it's great to dig into these topics and figure out what the right thing to do really is. But there's not always a Bible verse that tells us the right thing to do. (When there is, of course that is the end of the discussion for me.) We are each responsible for the decisions we make. I will answer to God for my choices.

Until then, I really do appreciate the gentle guidance of those who care. Ultimately though, I am the one who decides for myself what is right. And I have no reason to try to force my opinions on others. If I try to do that to you, please gently remind me that you are responsible for yourself, as I am for myself.


  1. Well said. I find myself in the same place on certain topics. I find now that it's just time to follow the 2 greatest commandments (Love God and each other), And let God sort us out at the end.

  2. Exactly... He's going to anyway right. It makes sense to resign ourselves to it now and live accordingly. ;-)

  3. A very wise statement is made by Doug above! (Can you tell I am slightly proud of my nephew)!

    And, Wanda, I so love your wording in your blog article. I share your wise comments about when it comes to when the Bible makes a very clear statement, then I willingly follow that. Again, a well-written article!

  4. Agreed - good stuff!! Thanks for the reminder to keep my mouth shut and my mind on my own business or the simple business of loving others, despite our differences!