Glazed Vanilla Bean Scones

This is a fully-bad-for-you, totally-indulgent, not-healthy recipe, so any Paleo or gluten-free diet people can just read for funny comments, drool, and move on. The rest of you should just go ahead and print this one off because you're going to be the hit of the next pot luck with this recipe.

Vanilla Bean Scones

Scone Ingredients:

2 vanilla beans
3/4 cup heavy cream

3 cups all-purpose flour
2/3 cups granulated sugar
2 Tablespoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup butter, chilled and cut into small cubes

1 egg

Glaze Ingredients:

1 vanilla bean
1/4 cup half and half cream
5-6 Tbsp milk
3 cups icing sugar, sifted


Heat oven to 350 degrees F.

Split 2 vanilla beans lengthwise down the middle and scrape out the goodness, stirring it into cream. Let it all blend together like wide-eyed freshman at a school mixer, for 15 minutes. (Do they still have school mixers these days?)

Sift together the flour, granulated sugar, baking powder, and salt. Incorporate the butter into the dry ingredients using a pastry blender or your fingertips until the mixture resembles a coarse meal.

Add egg to cream mixture, then add to the flour mixture; stir with a wooden spoon until all comes together.

Put down parchment paper and form dough into a rectangle on paper. Cover with another sheet of parchment paper and roll the dough until it is about 1/2 inch thick.

Cut dough into 12 -16 even rectangles. Cut those rectangles in half diagonally. Put on a parchment-lined baking sheet and bake for 12-18 minutes, just until the edges are barely browned. (Cooking time varies greatly depending on size.)

Let scones cool for at least 30 minutes before you attempt to glaze them.

To make the glaze: Split the remaining vanilla bean in half lengthwise and scrape out the goodness. Stir the vanilla bean goo into cream and milk; let it mingle like singles at a speed dating dinner for about 15 minutes. (That doesn't even make sense. If they're speed dating, don't they jump around from person to person within a matter or a couple minutes or so? I don't know; I've never speed dated.) Whisk the milk mixture with the icing sugar until smooth.

When scones are as cold as a polar bear's toe nails (or, really, room temperature would do just fine), baptize those scones until they are fully immersed. After it's had a chance to drip dry, put each scone on a cooling/drying rack for speedier drying. (Speedier drying means speedier eating.)

Let scones sit for about an hour before you indulge. They taste best fully drip-dried.

Sources say these scones will last for several days if placed in a dry, sealed container, but we've never had them last that long.

Makes 24-32 scones.